91% of Americans disappointed China didn’t blow Nancy Pelosi’s plane out of the sky
US—A Pew Pew Institute poll conducted today shows that 91% of Americans are disappointed that China didn't blow Nancy Pelosi's...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: China threatens to cut Pelosi off from vodka if she lands in Taiwan
BEIJING—A senior official in Beijing has pulled out all the stops in trying to prevent a US Speaker of the...
AOC says she was ‘just kidding about the Green New Deal’ as she pumps the AC to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one’s carbon footprint. But she recently...
JUST IN: White House Press Secretary replaced by a literal gaslight
WASHINGTON, DC—After acknowledging the difficulty in constantly gaslighting the American public about everything from the economy to the war in...
Zelensky and wife pose for Vogue cover with their new billions
KYIV—The war conflict between Ukraine and Russia continues, while that happens the President of the country with capital in Kyiv, Volodymyr Zelensky, appeared...
BREAKING: Biden has AOC’s bug eyes surgically implanted to look more alert
WASHINGTON, DC—After much criticism of Biden's squinting and looking half-dead, the president has undergone surgery to implant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's eyes...
FACT CHECK: It’s perfectly normal to not blink for several minutes straight
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Several conspiracy theories have emerged following a social media post by President Joe Biden in which he doesn't...
BREAKING: January 6 Committee finds Steve Bannon guilty of being innocent
WASHINGTON, DC--A jury on Friday found former Donald Trump adviser Steve Bannon guilty on two counts of being innocent. Bannon's...
BREAKING: Biden tests negative for IQ, experiencing mild symptoms
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Joe Biden said Thursday that he's tested negative for IQ but will continue to work while in isolation...
AOC’s husband miffed that she just wants to date Alex Stein
WASHINGTON, DC—Following a harrowing experience on the Capitol steps in which she was nearly murdered, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has...
