World’s biggest philanthropist Bill Gates to donate most his wealth to himself
SEATTLE—Billionaire Bill Gates said in a Wednesday Twitter thread that he plans to get off the "rich list" by donating...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
FBI to charge those who read about Hunter Biden’s Laptop with distributing child porn
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has charged millions of people with distributing child pornography for reading about the contents...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ on Capitol steps attack
WASHINGTON, DC—Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has issued a statement saying she...
Dollar Tree renamed ‘Buck-Fifty Bush’ amid skyrocketing inflation
US—U.S. inflation surged to a new four-decade high in June because of rising prices for gas, food and rent, squeezing household...
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, risk to all of society, person wins Wimbledon
WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND—An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world:...
Experts agree this is how the US will look in 3 years if we don’t reverse climate change now
US—In an utterly horrifying projection, experts across the client science field agreed that this picture is how the US will...
Justin Trudeau gives touching homage to former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe
OTTAWA—World leaders past and present expressed shock and sadness at the death of former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, who was...
Megan Rapinoe bravely stands on American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor
WASHINGTON, DC—Soccer player Megan Rapinoe bravely stood on an American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor from President*...
New FBI Child ID App lets you upload pics of your kids directly to Hunter Biden’s laptop
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the stunning success covering up for President* Joe Biden's son Hunter's laptop full of child pornography, the FBI...
BREAKING: FBI arrest person of interest in 4th of July shooting at Highland Park
CHICAGO—Federal authorities have identified a person of interest in the Highland Park, Illinois, 4th of July parade shooting as 89-year-old Gertrude...
