BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Heavily armed Russians arrest peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point
KYIV—Video and photographic evidence have shown Russians beating and trampling peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point. Sources also say that...
BREAKING: Vladimir Putin completely eradicates COVID by invading Ukraine
US—In a miraculous turn of events, Vladimir Putin has eradicated COVID-19 from the face of the earth by invading Ukraine....
BREAKING: Biden threatens to misgender Putin if Russia doesn’t leave Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden says he is prepared retaliate for the Ukraine invasion by misgendering Vladimir Putin. “Our number...
Hunter Biden, Adam Kinzinger to star in new Netflix film Ghost II: The Ghost of Kiev
HOLLYWOOD—Austere artist and international businessman Hunter Biden will be expanding his repertoire by staring in Ghost II: The Ghost of...
AOC horrified Russia is using ‘gas-powered’ tanks to run over Ukrainians instead of hybrids
KYIV—The streets of the capital have turned into chaos after Russia has invaded the Ukraine with tanks and armored vehicles....
Putin wins Nobel Peace Prize for painting ‘Black Lives Matter’ on his invading tanks
OSLO—The International Nobel Committee has awarded Vladimir Putin with the 2022 Nobel Peace Prize after it was discovered he's invading...
BREAKING: US to retaliate for Ukraine invasion by misgendering all Russian troops until they quit invading
WASHINGTON, DC—Top General Mark Milley said that, in retaliation for the Ukraine invasion, the US military is prepared to mount...
Biden urges Ukranians to prepare for Russian invasion by ‘getting vaccinated now’
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden has released a public service announcement telling Ukrainians to prepare for invasion by the Russians...
EXCLUSIVE: Ukranian president demands a full refund of the millions in bribes to the Bidens
KYIV--Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has demanded a full refund for the millions of dollars he gave the Bidens after US President*...
