BREAKING: Biden FDA approves emergency use authorization of crack as COVID treatment
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's Food & Drug Administration Commissioner Hunter Biden has fast-tracked the emergency use authorization for smoking crack as...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Trudeau outlaws honking, bans all Canadian geese from country
OTTAWA—Canadian Fascist Party Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has outlawed all honking in response to the 2022 Trucker Convoy for Freedom...
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after she was cut from US Women’s Team
US—Outspoken soccer star Megan Rapinoe was cut from the U.S. Women’s National Team roster for the upcoming SheBelieves Cup. But...
GoFundMe changes its name to GoF***Me
SILLICON VALLEY, CA—Charitable giving platform GoFundMe is changing its name to GoF***Me after receiving some bad press over the Canadian...
BREAKING: Canadian trucker protesters kill and burn innocent dogs in Ottawa
(CNN) OTTAWA—The racist trucker protests in the Canadian capital have turned violent as several participants killed and burned innocent dogs...
BREAKING: Ghost of Colin Powell says Russia is hiding Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction in Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to increase generate support for a war against Russia, the Biden* administration summoned the ghost of...
BREAKING: Racist Canadian trucker protests turn violent with burning, looting, and killing
OTTAWA—The Racists in the Canadian trucker protest in Ottawa turned violent today, burning cars and looting stores, according to sources...
Omar offers condolences to friends and family of ISIS leader killed in raid
WASHINGTON, DC—Islamic State (ISIS) leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was killed in an overnight U.S. military raid in Syria, President*...
POLL: Who should Biden nominate to replace Jeff Zucker as CNN CEO?
The state-run Communist News Network is losing its CEO Jeff Zucker following sex abuse allegations typical for the company. So,...
Justin Trudeau came out of his hole and saw his shadow so will spend another 6 weeks in quarantine
OTTAWA, CANADA—As is the new custom for Groundhog Day, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau poked his head out of the hole...
