BREAKING: Google office quarantined after someone was wished a ‘Merry Christmas’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The Google Headquarters shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Hundreds of J6 defendants change their name to Hunter Biden to get in on Joe Biden’s blanket pardon of his son
Hundreds of January 6th (J6) defendants have changed their names to Hunter Biden in a desperate attempt to secure Joe...
BREAKING: Vatican decrees that it’s okay to start playing Christmas music now
VATICAN CITY—In a rare move blending religious tradition and modern holiday spirit, the Vatican officially announced that it’s acceptable to...
Ocasio-Cortez vows to use only lowercase letters to fight capitalism
Capitalism has been way too successful at creating wealth across demographics for two centuries and democratic socialists like Rep. Alexandria...
Democratic strategist blames inflation for Harris loss: ‘She couldn’t even buy an election for $1 billion’
WASHINGTON, DC—Democratic strategist has come forward to blame inflation for Senator Kamala Harris' loss in the recent election. According to...
Biden says African Americans should be able to shop on more than just ‘Black Friday’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden is appalled that stores still have "Black Friday," nearly 60 years after the Civil Rights movement....
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to honor Native Americans on Unthanksgiving
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you’re a racist colonizer, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities will...
BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg met with President-elect Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago to discuss the release of his father from Area...
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs
Washington, D.C. – In a move that left both sides of the aisle scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump...
