BREAKING: Kamala Harris becomes first DEI hire to certify her own presidential election loss
WASHINGTON, DC—In a twist of fate that's equal parts tragic and comedic, Kamala Harris has boldly stepped into history as...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau resigns to focus on career in blackface entertainment
OTTAWA—In a move that has left the Canadian political landscape in shock, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced early this morning...
BREAKING: Feds host January 6 ‘reunion party’ with special guest Ray Epps
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI are hosting a January 6 reunion party with special guest Ray Epps to commemorate their insurrection. Today...
FBI quickly closes New Orleans terror case so they can get back to monitoring the real terrorists: concerned parents at school board meetings
New Orleans, LA - In what might be considered an exceptionally brisk investigation, the FBI has wrapped up its inquiry...
BREAKING: Biden bans all trucks after 2 commit terrorist attacks New Years Eve
Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move, President* Joe Biden has announced plans to ban trucks across the United States...
BREAKING: Leader of ISIS, Barack Obama claims credit for New Orleans terrorist attack
New Orleans, LA — In a plot twist that could only be conceived in the darkest corners of the internet...
BREAKING: Ilhan Omar offers condolences to family of ISIS-linked New Orleans terrorist
New Orleans, LA — In an unexpected move that has stirred controversy, U.S. Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) has publicly offered...
BREAKING: Wray promises to allow several more terrorist attacks before he steps down as FBI Director
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising yet somewhat expected turn of events, FBI Director Christopher Wray has announced his commitment...
Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping
In a heartwarming holiday twist, local resident Mark Thompson was left utterly astonished by the Christmas presents he ostensibly chose...
