Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow

Exavier Saskagoochie December 29, 2021

NEW YORK--In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who just today was convicted of sex trafficking minors was tragically killed in...

‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer

Exavier Saskagoochie December 29, 2021

HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...

FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’

Exavier Saskagoochie December 27, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...

New ‘Santifa’ cards include explosives instead of glitter

Exavier Saskagoochie December 23, 2021

Looking for a clever way to celebrate the holidays in 2021? Look no further! The new Santifa cards come with...

Generous Americans donate their vaccines to undocumented immigrants

Exavier Saskagoochie December 22, 2021

US—Millions of generous Americans are forgoing their COVID vaccines to make sure that the millions of undocumented immigrants pouring in...

Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys

Exavier Saskagoochie December 21, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...

BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024

Exavier Saskagoochie December 18, 2021

Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...

General view of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention headquarters in Atlanta

CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC

Exavier Saskagoochie December 17, 2021

ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...