NORTH SHORES, DE—Jill Biden commented, “Joe has always been resolute. He’s also a tough guy, one of the things that attracted me to him. He doesn’t take guff. He told that sh*thead of a president he was going to kick his ass and Joe keeps his promises. Well, he keeps a lot of promises. Actually, I can think of a couple that… don’t get me started… anyways, just like clockwork, if he’s home he shows up over at Cape Henlopen High School, go Vikings… I think the last class is 2:45? He’s a very patient guy. He’s gonna wait behind the football bleachers and some day, I think Trump is gonna take the bait and show up.”
Principal of the high school, Mrs. McKinnon; “For a while, I just heard the rumors that some old man was hangin’ out back there and I called the cops. They told me what was going on. I don’t think Mr. Biden is setting a very good example for the students. How does that behavior represent people ‘coming together’? You’d think that having been a vice president, he would have some sensitivity for President Trump but no, he just wants to kick his ass. Like that would every happen. I think, really… he just enjoys the solitude back there. Time to meditate, right? A little time away from the battle axe. I mean, I don’t know Mrs. Biden so maybe that wasn’t a wise… can you not put that in okay. Just delete that I said that whole part, okay? You’re not giving me any signal here on this. I think you should leave now. The door is that… right there… before I call the cops.”
Ever since the debates, Mr. Biden hasn’t been back to the bleachers, however the police have had to break up over twenty fist fights at that location. Antifa has designated it a ‘gang jump in’ site and holds violent ‘kick downs’ for new members. Cape Henlopen cheerleaders usually hold fundraisers and sell tickets when they know a Bidenbrawl is scheduled. Local EM responders said that the worst that has happened is a couple of broken bones and Rob Reiner having a heart attack in a celebrity matchup with Mel Gibson. Go Vikings!