LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike stores if you use promo #racialjustice
MINNEAPOLIS—For a limited time only, residents can get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike store when they use the promo code...
Business
Local small business eyes big riches by getting woke
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX- Following the example of popular mega-corporations, local landscaper George Feldman's growing business is adopting woke politics in...
If capitalism is so great, why can’t a Trans and Fat Studies double PhD find a job?
I'm going to say it (or type it on my $500 iPhone): I've had enough of this whole capitalism thing....
AOC slams long lines at McDonald’s as ‘diner suppression’
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Socialist-NY) took to Twitter today accusing McDonald’s of ‘diner suppression’ over long waiting lines at the...
Secret Service hires Nepali sherpa to carry Biden up and down White House stairs
NEPAL—The United States Secret Service announced today that they have added a Nepali Sherpa named Norbu to the President’s security...
AOC: If socialism is so bad, why did over 100 million people sacrifice their lives for it in the 20th century?
Deep Thoughts by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez If recent trends over the past few years are any indication, it’s that socialism is...
BREAKING: Democrats agree to let you have some of your money in $1.9 trillion relief package
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats in control of both houses of Congress and the White House recently passed the $1.9 trillion relief package,...
Call for recently laid off HuffPo writers
Dear laid off Huffington Post writers, we know you're hurt and struggling in this time of flux, but there are...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
