2026 Oscars replaced with 2 hours of sustained yelling at a picture of Donald Trump
In a move that even the most jaded Academy voters are calling “pure, unadulterated Oceania chic,” the Motion Picture Academy...
Culture
2001: A Space Odyssey Remake Highlights HAL 9000 with ChatGPT Upgrade
Hollywood Announces “2001: A Space Odyssey – Now With 47% More Hallucinations” Los Angeles, March 2026 — In a move...
Protestant quarterback doesn’t throw the ball because his faith alone is enough to win
In a stunning display of doctrinal consistency that left analysts scratching their helmets, Protestant quarterback Caleb Sola of the Reformation...
CNN’s This Day in Teen Tourism on Abnormally Warm Weather History: 2004 Madrid Train Massacre
On a crisp yet unseasonably pleasant early spring morning in Madrid, a group of young visitors from various backgrounds decided...
FACT CHECK: Ben Shapiro’s Eyebrows Grow in Direct Proportion to Number of Bombs Dropped in the Middle East
In a groundbreaking peer-reviewed study, researchers at the Institute for Things That Sound About Right have confirmed what internet commentators...
Local men dominate International Women’s Day celebration
SPRINGFIELD — In a display of what organizers described as “unprecedented solidarity and lived experience,” this year’s International Women’s Day...
Sources say that Iran has elected Barack Obama as the new Supreme Leader
Tehran, Iran — In a stunning development, anonymous sources close to the Assembly of Experts have confirmed that Iran has...
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy
Fat Gun: Doughboy is a political documentary that follows the bizarre and covert diplomatic mission known only as Operation Doughboy—an...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
BREAKING: France Joins US-Iran War; Immediately Surrenders to Both Sides
PARIS — Citing “a rare moment of bipartisan exhaustion” in global affairs, France has formally declared itself a co-belligerent in...
