California celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 6 people to climate goddess Greta Thunberg
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
Culture
White House Clarifies Biden’s ‘Where’s Jackie?’ Remark: ‘He Was Talking About Jackie Chan’
Last week, Joe Biden asked at the White House Conference on Hunger, Nutrition, and Health if Jackie Walorski, (R-Indiana), who died...
Louisiana man whose skin turned black from antidepressants is offered full ride to Harvard
A caucasian man's skin has turned black after a mystery reaction to a commonly prescribed anti-depressant. Harvard has since given...
Adam Levine accused of sending flirtatious messages to Canadian trans shop teacher
Adam Levine is being accused of sending flirtatious messages via Instagram to the Canadian trans shop teacher with enormous prosthetic...
Martha’s Vineyard erects statue commemorating when they hosted illegal immigrants for 24 hours
MARTHA'S VINEYARD—City councils across Martha's Vineyard have erected a statue commemorating the time when they hosted 50 illegal immigrants for...
BREAKING: Inflation is so bad that Leonardo DiCaprio is considering dating 27-year-olds
US—Inflation in the United States is so bad that actor Leonardo DiCaprio, who recently split from his 25-year-old girlfriend Camila Morrone,...
Judge grants Harvey Weinstein furlough so he can comfort Jennifer Lawrence after her nightmares about Tucker Carlson
NEW YORK—A Judge has granted convicted sex abuser Harvey Weinstein a temporary furlough from prison so that he can comfort...
NEW: Netflix presents Whoopi Goldberg as Queen Elizabeth II
CALIFORNIA—Based on historical events, Netflix presents Whoopi Goldberg in the all new film, "Queen Elizabeth II" following the recent monarch's...
City of Memphis erects statue of Ezekiel Kelly who went on mostly peaceful shooting spree this week
MEMPHIS—About 200 community members gathered to celebrate the unveiling of a statue of Ezekiel Kelly, the austere repeat offender suspected...
JUST IN: Biden unveils his own presidential portrait at the White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden Wednesday unveiled his official presidential portrait in an event punctuated by history and politics. Many claimed...
