BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Culture
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Fox News unveils new graphics package to distract from Tucker not being there
In a bold move to distract viewers from the absence of their star anchor, Tucker Carlson, Fox News has unveiled...
BREAKING: Dems worried no one will be able to normalize pedophilia if Hollywood Writers strike
Democrats across the nation are expressing deep concerns about the potential impact of the Hollywood Writers Guild strike on the...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
NHL announces Baptist Pride jerseys in the interest of ‘diversity and inclusion’
In a stunning move towards diversity and inclusion, the National Hockey League (NHL) has announced the introduction of Baptist Pride...
Bud Light launches ‘Bug Light’, the Official Beer of the Green New Deal
In a move that's sure to leave beer enthusiasts buzzing with excitement, Bud Light has announced the release of their...
BREAKING: Fox news replaces Tucker Carlson with AI Tuckerbot to assure the nation everything is fine
In a move that has stunned the media world, Fox News has announced that they will be replacing longtime anchor...
Chicagoans now boarding up their car windows to get around safer
CHICAGO—Chicagoans have come up with a revolutionary new solution: boarding up their car windows and windshields to avoid rioters bashing...
Local kid who only watches TV commercials surprised to learn that there are white people
In a shocking discovery that has left his parents scratching their heads, local 6-year-old Timmy Johnson has realized that there...
