Trump promises to replace all torn-down monuments with statues of himself
WASHINGTON DC—Woke protesters have paused their widespread monument destruction after President Trump promised to replace all torn-down monuments with statues...
Culture
The Dixie Chicks have changed their name to ‘The Dicks’
The Dixie Chicks are now known as The Dicks. The country trio changed its social media handles, and their official website...
Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden’s speeches
As the 2020 presidential election draws near, Democratic strategists have been scrambling to find someone capable of interpreting their presumptive...
Sting now homeless after The Police are defunded
LONDON—Musician Sting is the latest victim of the "Defund the Police" movement. "The Police need to be cancelled" said activist...
Roosevelt statue will stay if the horse transitions to a poor disabled biracial trans rainbow-farting unicorn
Statues are people too. Well, dead people but people nonetheless. CNN has redefined history as the last 15 minutes so...
BREAKING: Bubba Wallace finds burnt cross in NASCAR garage stall
TALLADEGA--A burnt cross was found in the garage stall of a black NASCAR racer, Bubba Wallace, less than two weeks...
Shaun King demands removal of any image of Jesus that looks as white as he does
NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter activist and part-time freelance clown, Shaun King, has called for the removal of all statues and...
Klingon Lives Matter activists feel they’re being ignored after the death of Worf
Klingon Lives Matter feel as if their movement is being overshadowed by Black Lives Matter and ignored after the death...
BREAKING: Antifa declares Washington DC its own country; rest of US pretty much okay with that
Antifa activists, who have taken over sections of blue cities thanks to appeasement by local officials may have accidentally saved...
Antifa replaces all racist statues with sculpture of Obama performing abortion on black woman
The Antifa mob has been busy tearing down racist statues of Junipero Serra, Theodore Roosevelt, and Michael Jackson across the...
