CHAZ/CHOP protesters back to occupying their parents’ basements again
SEATTLE—After Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan ruthlessly took back the perfect communist utopia of Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ, also known...
Culture
Seattle bullies knock down little kids’ fort, take all their soy milk
SEATTLE—Several little kids went home crying to their mommies after some neighborhood bullies knocked down their little fort in the...
Celebrities show support for ‘Defund the Police’ by adding dozens more security guards
We all recognize Hollywood represents the best humanity has to offer. We know that because they tell us every day....
VIDEO: Kid viciously helps elderly lady up the stairs despite the clear risk of being a good person
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED! Watch as this brutal young kid viciously helps an elderly lady up the stairs to her house...
Disney changes Splash Mountain to ‘Riot Hill’ where guests can experience exciting BLM riot
ORLANDO—Amid calls to change the Splash Mountain theme park ride because of its ties with the racist 1946 “Song of...
Trump promises to replace all torn-down monuments with statues of himself
WASHINGTON DC—Woke protesters have paused their widespread monument destruction after President Trump promised to replace all torn-down monuments with statues...
The Dixie Chicks have changed their name to ‘The Dicks’
The Dixie Chicks are now known as The Dicks. The country trio changed its social media handles, and their official website...
Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden’s speeches
As the 2020 presidential election draws near, Democratic strategists have been scrambling to find someone capable of interpreting their presumptive...
Sting now homeless after The Police are defunded
LONDON—Musician Sting is the latest victim of the "Defund the Police" movement. "The Police need to be cancelled" said activist...
Roosevelt statue will stay if the horse transitions to a poor disabled biracial trans rainbow-farting unicorn
Statues are people too. Well, dead people but people nonetheless. CNN has redefined history as the last 15 minutes so...
