BREAKING: Vatican decrees that it’s okay to start playing Christmas music now
VATICAN CITY—In a rare move blending religious tradition and modern holiday spirit, the Vatican officially announced that it’s acceptable to...
Entertainment
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to honor Native Americans on Unthanksgiving
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you’re a racist colonizer, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities will...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
Harris campaign ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t spend enough money on twerking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris campaign has come forward to admit that their defeat in the recent election can be attributed...
BREAKING: Trump picks Rosanne Barr as White House Press Secretary
Donald Trump has announced that he has picked actress and comedian Roseanne Barr as his new press secretary for his...
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
New Netflix docudrama portrays Trump in a shockingly positive light
Netflix has released a new docudrama about former President Donald Trump that portrays him in a positive light. However. The...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris demands refund from dozens of celebrities she paid to endorse her
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris presidential campaign has announced that they are seeking refunds from dozens of celebrities whom they reportedly...
Frustrated SNL Writers Hoping Harris Does Something To Make Fun Of
SNL’s head writer Kahm Eddie Isded has a problem most comedy writers dream of: a Vice President so flawless she’s...
“Who Do I Have To Kill To Get Back On SNL?” Asks Hilarious Alec Baldwin
As Alec Baldwin’s infamous presence resurfaces, speculation mounts over how a man who has faced serious allegations can still confidently...
