Soccer players practicing social distancing still manage to foul each other
ENGLAND – The godless communists who watch soccer are happy to report little has changed in their beloved sport since...
Entertainment
Alex Jones releases new critically acclaimed cookbook ‘Grilling your neighbors’
It all started with a crazed rant on Alex Jones’ real and unfiltered television show, where he described sizing up...
Facebook’s new ‘Care-n’ react sends people directly to concentration camps
ST. LOUIS—Facebook users everywhere, especially those named Karen, are excited about a new feature that allows them to report people...
Fauci unilaterally changes the national anthem to ‘Don’t stand so close to me’ by The Police
Dr. Fauci has so many great ideas it's no wonder everyone calls him a genius, brainiac, superhuman phenom. It must...
Alyssa Milano says victims should feel ‘privileged’ to be sexually assaulted by Joe Biden
Several brave women's rights activists such as Alyssa Milano have come out in support of Joe Biden against his sexual...
BREAKING: COVID-19 is CIA plot to inject Tom Hanks’s blood into every American through vaccine
Genesius Times investigative reporters have discovered the truth about the coronavirus pandemic. The entire crisis has been designed to instill...
Terrible show pretends to be good for the first 3 seasons
U.S. – Local quarantined couple John and Lynn Flenderson are exploring legal options this week after what they claim was...
Amid COVID pandemic, nation’s hospitals request fewer ventilators and more cowbell
Nurse crews are absolutely killing it in their response to a Tik Tok dance challenge during the COVID-19 pandemic. The...
BREAKING: Joe ‘Exotic’ Biden surges in polls with new post-quarantine look
Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden's campaign has been suffering through weak polling numbers and consistent senility. The New York Times...
Trump says ‘laughter is the best medicine’ to fight COVID-19; calls for national ‘Day of Satire’
During his daily COVID-19 press conference, President Donald Trump reported that, "laughter is the best medicine," in the fight against...
