BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow
NEW YORK--In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who just today was convicted of sex trafficking minors was tragically killed in...
Newsbeat
CNN to report on the thousands of people not shot in Chicago over the weekend
(CNN)—We at CNN have a new policy in which, instead of reporting on the number of people shot and killed...
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...
CNN: No one is left to report on child sex abuse conspiracy theory because everyone has been fired for child sex abuse
ATLANTA—CNN has been at the forefront of the brave mainstream media denying that there is an epidemic of child sex...
BREAKING: Congress votes to move US-Mexico border wall to Ukraine
In a bipartisan vote, the US House of Representatives voted to send the border wall between US and Mexico to...
Chris Cuomo sues CNN for wrongfully terminating him for being a cuomosexual
ATLANTA—Former CNN anchor Chris Cuomo is suing the media company, saying they wrongfully terminated him for being a "cuomosexual". "Did...
Rep who calls all Americans terrorists is offended at being called a terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) who regularly calls all Americans terrorists was recently offended when Rep Lauren Boebert made...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its San Francisco-area stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
FBI drops terrorism case on Waukesha killer after learning he never protested a school board
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has dropped its domestic terrorism case against the Waukesha Christmas parade killer after...
