BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn terrorist wasn’t a white supremacist
New Orleans, LA — In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation reevaluating its assumptions, the identity...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Wray promises to allow several more terrorist attacks before he steps down as FBI Director
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising yet somewhat expected turn of events, FBI Director Christopher Wray has announced his commitment...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
CNN: Car mostly-peacefully drives itself into Magdeburg Christmas market
GERMANY—A car, seemingly driven by the spirit of Christmas itself, embarked on a "mostly peaceful" journey through the Magdeburg Christmas...
AOC: If gun control doesn’t work, then why aren’t there any shootings in gun-free zones?
This is so infuriating. Shame on the NRA. Shame on the GOP. Shame on that state! After another mass shooting,...
BREAKING: Leftists take a break from celebrating shooting of healthcare CEO to call for gun control
Leftist activists who were recently seen getting tattoos to celebrate the assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson have now...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn that mass shooter wasn’t a straight white male
In an event that has shaken the core beliefs of many Americans, the country woke up to the shocking news...
Local white supremacist protesters demand figgy pudding and won’t go ‘until we get some’
Several suburbs across the metropolitan area have been besieged by live action role-players protesting seemingly random homes with demands of...
BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg met with President-elect Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago to discuss the release of his father from Area...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
