New CDC guidelines: coronavirus does not spread when you’re looting, burning your city to the ground
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have released new guidelines again concerning the spread of coronavirus. "There is...
Newsbeat
Local man pretty sure he ended racism by tweeting ‘white people are the worst’
NEW YORK, NY—Several millennia of racism, slavery, and warfare came to an abrupt end Thursday when local progressive Dickey Le...
Antifa releases new book: ‘Acceptable Fascism’ amid COVID-19 lockdowns
PORTLAND, OR — Antifa of America have released a new book entitled "Acceptable Fascism" amid increasing government restrictions based on...
Local woman cleans TV with anti-virus wipe; instantly kills CNN, MSNBC, ABC
A local woman was shocked at how effective her anti-virus cleaning wipes are. With just one wipe, she was able...
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
CDC releases official ‘contact tracer’ uniform and haircut
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released the official uniform and haircut for the contact tracer agents...
Murder hornets insist they are the ‘Hornets of Peace’
DEARBORN, MI — With the Vespa mandarinia, or better known as "murder hornets," arrival in the United States, some hornets...
VIDEO: How to feel good about yourself for obeying corrupt politicians and listening to lying media
This is a wonderful example of how we should all behave in the new normal of a COVID world. JP...
Murder hornets have mutated and it’s worse than you could imagine
Entomologists from around the globe have discovered a mutation in the deadly Asian murder hornets, and it's worse than you...
