BREAKING: Thousands of progressives commit suicide after Trump declares: ‘I want to save American lives’
Thousands of brave liberals across the country have committed suicide in response to President Trump's declaration in a COVID-19 press...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Historian discovers provision that cancels Bill of Rights in the event of a really bad cold
At this juncture, it seems safe to say that somebody in the Constitutional Convention of 1787 may very well have...
Florida man dies from COVID-19 minutes after dying in a car accident
Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying disease. Florida...
Breaking: New Orleans Coronavirus outbreak caused by Popeye’s new fried bat combo
Upping the ante in the Chicken flame wars, Popeye’s released their boldest meal to date. Playing off of the Corona...
BREAKING: Joe ‘Exotic’ Biden surges in polls with new post-quarantine look
Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden's campaign has been suffering through weak polling numbers and consistent senility. The New York Times...
BREAKING: Chris Cuomo diagnosed with highly contagious verbal diarrhea
Chris Cuomo, CNN anchor and little brother to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, has been diagnosed with a highly contagious...
BREAKING: Over 24,000 Americans have died from COVID-19; it’s time to panic
The CDC estimates that as of March 30, there have been at least 39 million cases, 400,000 hospitalizations and 24,000 deaths...
STUDY: Most quarantined people pretty much okay never interacting with all the annoying people out there
Who can forget the scenes of thousands of Chinese citizens going about their business wearing surgical masks? Some round, some...
Feminists cry sexism as Covid 19 disproportionately infects men
Globally, feminists have been triggered. It turns out, as fate would have it, that the Coronavirus is disproportionately infecting men....
To save lives, Newsom will execute anyone who leaves their house during COVID-19 quarantine
California is now living its first full day under some of the most wide-reaching measures in the country, aimed at halting the...
