AOC: We Must Abolish Father’s Day Because It Is Racist
As we approach another Father’s Day, I find myself reflecting on a holiday that, while seemingly harmless to some, has...
Politics
Obama Library Requires I.D. Except, Of Course, If You Want To Vote There
Chicago, IL – The long-awaited grand opening of the Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library and Museum proceeded largely without incident...
Quality Learing Center Receives $850 Million Upgrade in Chicago
CHICAGO — City officials confirmed today that the Quality Learing Center, a controversial early childhood education provider previously embroiled in...
Exclusive CNN Coverage: The Deadly Trump Algae Bloom
In an alarming development that experts are linking directly to former President Donald Trump's policies, rhetoric, and general existence, scientists...
Chicago Unveils Nation’s First Vertical Landfill as Obama Presidential Center Opens
CHICAGO — The Barack Obama Presidential Center opened to the public this week as the nation’s first fully operational vertical...
Local Dad Also Agrees to Not Build Nuclear Weapons in Exchange for $100 Billion
US—Area father of two Brian Thompson announced Tuesday that he has reached a comprehensive agreement with international negotiators to suspend...
AOC: Homophobic Trump would never have opened the Strait of Hormuz if it were called the ‘Gay of Hormuz’
In these trying times of late-stage capitalism and rising seas, we are once again reminded that Donald Trump’s foreign policy...
North Korea Says It Will Welcome British Refugees Fleeing From Keir Starmer’s Dictatorship
Pyongyang — The Democratic People's Republic of Korea has extended a formal offer of asylum to British citizens seeking to...
Trump Awards Himself Nobel Peace Prize for Ending War with Iran That He Started
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump bestowed upon himself the Nobel Peace Prize Tuesday morning, citing his extraordinary achievement in successfully...
Newsom Threatens to Seize Elon Musk’s Entire $1.1 Trillion to Fund Another 0.0 Miles of His High-Speed Rail Project
SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday that his administration is exploring legal avenues to confiscate Elon Musk’s full $1.1...
