Democrats promise to fix all the nation’s problems by killing more babies
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of crashing stock markets and skyrocketing inflation, Democrats have promised to kill more babies, outgoing White...
Politics
Elon Musk secretly buys 51% of all passwords, will soon control internet
ZURICH—The GPO, Global Password Organization, announced on May 5th, World Password Day, that Elon Musk, the SpaceX and Tesla entrepreneur,...
Don’t want a rape? Don’t get a rape. It’s not okay to impose your religious views on others!
I'm a super progressive. One might say I'm "ultra" progressive. I dye my hair. I have a Ukraine flag in...
Newsom takes break from force-vaccinating people to lecture everyone about bodily autonomy
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has taken a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and getting vaccinated in...
Biden declares war on the Ultra Mega Super Actors
Washington - President Joe Biden declared war on the Ultra-Mega Super Actors this morning. Calling them the most devastating legion...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
BREAKING: SCOTUS abortion decision leaked by The Ghost of Kiev
WASHINGTON, DC—The identity of the person who leaked the SCOTUS decision, which likely will overturn Roe v Wade has been...
Dozens protest attack on women’s rights without being able to define ‘women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Dozens of protesters descended on the nation's capital to protest an attack on women's rights despite not being able...
Hillary wears dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the Met Gala
NEW YORK—Former Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton wore a dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the 2022 Met...
DHS hiring unemployed Antifa activists for new fascist Thought Police brigade
WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says “anti-fascism” quite like enforcing the disinformation policy of the government. That’s what thousands of newly employed Antifa...
