BREAKING: Hillary Clinton admits servers for Iowa caucus located in Chappaqua
Genesius Times breaking news reporter, Imonit Ritenow, has uncovered stunning secret documents and satellite images. They reveal Democrat-run servers being...
Politics
Iowan Dems scramble to find a candidate who doesn’t actually suck
For over a year, Iowans have hosted campaign stops by over three thousand Democratic presidential hopefuls in effort to prove...
BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry's newest and most disgusting...
Democrats demand that Russia stops interfering in the elections they’re trying to rig
As the Iowa Caucuses draw near, top Democrats are demanding that Russia stops interfering in the elections they're trying to...
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years
GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...
Source of coronavirus now confirmed to be John Bolton’s moustache
The CDC, after sending hundreds of its own investigators to China, has finally uncovered the so-called Index Case and source...
Adam Schiff nominated for Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in a Fictional Impeachment
Genesius Times Entertaintent reporters have just learned that Adam Schiff, despite considerable competition in this category, has been nominated for...
AOC ensures migrants receive fresh water and nutritious bat soup upon entering US
Disgusted by the conditions of undocumented migrants entering the country, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is working to ensure travelers...
Roberts won’t let Paul say the name of the whistleblower that no one knows the name of
During the impeachment trial, Chief Justice John Roberts prevented Senator Rand Paul from saying a name because it was the...
