Ocasio-Cortez ‘pretty sure’ coronavirus can be spread through cow farts
Emboldened by CNN's selection of Greta Thunberg to the expert panel on coronavirus, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued...
Politics
California’s White Witch launches the 100-year quarantine
Los Angeles County Public Health Director Dr. Barbara Ferrer started her daily COVID news conference on Wednesday by apologizing for not being...
Joe Biden hires the Swedish Chef to help make his speeches more intelligible
After a fallout with former speech writer Jar Jar Binks, Democratic front runner Joe Biden has hired the Swedish Chef as his...
Stacy Abrams threatens to eat Joe Biden if he doesn’t select her as running mate
Stacy Abrams has threatened to eat Joe Biden if he didn't pick her as his running mate. No, not break...
Nancy Pelosi declares herself the one and only United States congressperson
United States Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of California's 12th Congressional District has used the rarely mentioned Plague Clause of the US...
BREAKING: 66 people died in Chicago today from COVID-19-related gunshot wounds
CHICAGO — Public health officials were stunned as they added 66 people to the COVID-19 death toll today. All 66...
LA Health Dept. giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
LOS ANGELES — The LA Department of Health is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
