4b: We refuse to have sex with people who voted for Trump!
We have made a bold decision: we refuse to have sex with Trump voters. Read 'em and weep, fellas! This...
Politics
BREAKING: Arizona to use Common Core math to ensure the ‘right’ candidate wins
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in the office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs have explained that they are using Common...
Kamala Harris quietly changes pronouns on X to “Has/Been”
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has quietly changed her social media pronouns on the platform X (formerly Twitter) to "Has/Been."...
BREAKING: D.O.G.E. to replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers
Washington DC—President-elect Donald Trump has announced that the Department of Government Efficiency will replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers starting...
BREAKING: Trump proposes new border wall after Newsom threatens to ignore federal law
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—President-Elect Donald Trump has proposed building a new border wall that excludes California, following Governor Gavin Newsom's threat to...
BREAKING: Biden calls Mitt Romney to concede election
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has phoned Mitt Romney, the outgoing Republican senator from Utah, to concede defeat in the 2024...
Trump Dream Team
Vance, Elon, RFK Jr., Tulsi, Vivek, Peanut.
Democrat strategists ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t call enough people racist
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrat strategists have come forward to admit that their party's loss in the recent general election can be attributed...
BREAKING: Inciting insurrections is okay again
WASHINGTON, DC—Congresspeople Eric Swalwell and Liz Warren have come forward to announce that inciting insurrections is now an acceptable political...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris demands refund from dozens of celebrities she paid to endorse her
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris presidential campaign has announced that they are seeking refunds from dozens of celebrities whom they reportedly...
