Local men dominate International Women’s Day celebration
SPRINGFIELD — In a display of what organizers described as “unprecedented solidarity and lived experience,” this year’s International Women’s Day...
Politics
Sources say that Iran has elected Barack Obama as the new Supreme Leader
Tehran, Iran — In a stunning development, anonymous sources close to the Assembly of Experts have confirmed that Iran has...
BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’
In a stunning display of military prowess and graphic design prowess, Iranian state media today released what officials described as...
Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files
In a stunning display of bipartisan unity rarely seen outside of pork-barrel spending bills, the United States House of Representatives...
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy
Fat Gun: Doughboy is a political documentary that follows the bizarre and covert diplomatic mission known only as Operation Doughboy—an...
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu
Tehran, Iran — In a scathing internal review leaked to Western intelligence agencies (and promptly posted on a public Telegram...
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
WASHINGTON, DC—Sources for Genesius Times have confirmed that the Federal Reserve is a mere two weeks from completing a fully...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
BREAKING: Federal Judge overturns the killing of Iranian Ayatollah Khamenei
In a ruling that has left both the Pentagon and Tehran simultaneously relieved and mildly embarrassed, U.S. District Judge Hugh...
BREAKING: France Joins US-Iran War; Immediately Surrenders to Both Sides
PARIS — Citing “a rare moment of bipartisan exhaustion” in global affairs, France has formally declared itself a co-belligerent in...
