BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Politics
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Air Force One draws giant penis in the sky to signify that Biden is screwing America
US—In a shocking display of aerial artwork, Air Force One recently made headlines as it drew a giant, unmistakable image...
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
Biden DOJ investigating if Nashville cops committed hate crime by misgendering trans school shooter
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Department of Justice (DOJ) has announced an investigation into whether Nashville law enforcement committed a hate crime...
BREAKING: Biden shocked to learn he’s running for president again in 2024
In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden reportedly had a major "uh-oh" moment when he learned that he...
Congressional hearing highlights appalling lack of gender equity among crash test dummies
In a shocking and eye-opening Congressional testimony, experts in the field of automotive safety have highlighted the appalling lack of...
BREAKING: Fox trades Tucker Carlson for Don Lemon and 6 draft picks just before trade deadline
In a shocking move just before the Cable News trade deadline, Fox News has reportedly traded star anchor Tucker Carlson...
