Fetterman hospitalized for extreme depression after learning he’s a Democrat
It's well known that Senator Jon Fetterman suffered a tragic brain injury during his 2022 campaign, which resulted in a...
Politics
BREAKING: Eyewitness to testify that Donald Trump lunged at steering wheel to crash Ohio train
EAT PALESTINE, OH—An eyewitness close to the administration is to testify that former President Donald Trump lunged at the steering...
Nation starting to think appointing someone Transportation Secretary just because he’s gay isn’t such a good idea
US—People across the country are starting to think that appointing someone as Transportation Secretary because he's gay isn't such a...
After deadly Ohio train derailment, Transportation Sec Buttigieg vows to go on train vacation next
EAST PALESTINE, OH—Following the deadly train derailment in Ohio in which hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals were...
BREAKING: Eagles win Super Bowl LVII after scoring 6 TDs at 4 am when no one was watching
PHOENIX—The Philadelphia Eagles, along with the rest of the world, thought they had lost Super Bowl LVII when they went...
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC--America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about the mental and physical health...
BREAKING: President Biden Utters First Fully Coherent Sentence of His Presidency
UNITED STATES—President Biden broke a record today after uttering his first fully coherent sentence of his presidency. The sentence? “Why...
BREAKING: Biden posts TikTok video celebrating the end of Chinese spying
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden posted a video of him dancing on the TikTok social media platform to celebrate his ending...
Here Are All of the Items Found in that Chinese Spy Balloon Shot Down by the U.S. Military
UNITED STATES—This past week a spy balloon belonging to the Communist Party of China (CCP) was shot down off the...
