BREAKING: Ukraine asks for another $41B in aid to fund an audit of the previous $92B in aid
KYIV—Ukrainian Volodymyr Zelensky has asked the United States for an additional $41 billion in aid to pay for an audit...
Politics
BREAKING: Pentagon hires Sam Bankman-Fried after proving he can lose money as fast as anyone
US—The Department of Defense has hired embattled cryptocurrency Ponzi schemer Sam Bankman-Fried after he lost $16 billion overnight. "We saw...
GOP to read Constitution aloud on House floor so they know ‘exactly what to ignore when they pass unconstitutional laws later on’
Kevin McCarthy said the entirety of the United States Constitution will be read on the first day of the new...
Child Abuse Hotline volunteer shocked when Joe Biden tried to ‘place an order’
WASHINGTON, DC—A volunteer for the local Child Abuse Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from President* Joe...
OP-ED: The Case for Impeaching Donald Trump in 2024
Donald Trump, the twice-impeached former president who was responsible for the Thirty Years’ War, the American Revolution, the French Revolution,...
BREAKING: Buffalo hammered with 6 feet of Global Warming over the weekend
BUFFALO, New York—New York residents in Buffalo and other parts of the state are waking this morning to up to...
BREAKING: Trump struggling to think of a mean tweet worth $44 billion
After much anticipation, Elon Musk restored former President Donald Trump's popular Twitter account over the weekend. https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1594131768298315777 However, Trump has...
Maricopa to produce theatrical version of ‘Dumb and Dumber’ to entertain while they count votes
PHOENIX—During a flawless election cycle in which upwards of 30% of voters were disenfranchised and has taken over a week...
8 Health Conditions President Biden Probably Has
Joe Biden doesn’t seem right. Strange speeches, trips, falls, and incoherent ramblings. If he was your grandparent you may think...
BREAKING: Biden admits Trump won in 2020 to prevent him from running again in 2024
US—President Trump declared his intention to run for president again this week, yet the Democrats and Biden may have one...
