BREAKING: Pope Francis names George Floyd patron saint of fentanyl
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis announced today that following the conviction of Derek Chauvin, George Floyd was a martyr of social justice...
Religion
Jordan Peterson turns 5 copies of ’12 Rules for Life’ into 5,000
TORONTO- Upon returning to campus following a lengthy sabbatical, University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson was greeted by 5,000 fans...
Here’s your guide to an uber-woke Passover
Jews have been celebrating the Passover holiday for thousands of years since the Egyptian Exodus, and not much has changed...
BREAKING: Biden signs executive order changing U.S. motto to ‘In Gov We Trust’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden signed an executive order today changing the national motto from ‘In G-D We Trust’ to ‘In Gov...
Biden is giving up chocolate-covered kids for Lent
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated President Joe Biden's devout Catholicism today confirming that he has given up...
BREAKING: Vatican declares Biden a saint after he miraculously ends COVID one day in White House
VATICAN—Pope Francis has confirmed that the first beatification of a living person: US President Joe Biden after he has ended...
Rabbis confirm watching ‘The View’ will atone for half your sins
Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that watching the daytime TV show ‘The View’ will...
Joe Biden so committed to Catholicism he’s willing to sacrifice unborn babies for it
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference yesterday, Joe Biden discussed his religious beliefs and how they’ve impacted his life. “I’m one...
Damaging photos surface of Moses not wearing mask during Egyptian plagues
ALEXANDRIA, EGYPT—Archeologists working in Alexandria, Egypt have recently discovered damaging photos of Moses not wearing a mask during the Egyptian...
Woman with ‘My Body My Choice’ shirt yells at people who oppose mandatory vaccination
A woman with a “My Body My Choice” shirt has been stationed at a local Target store screaming at selfish...
