Fauci: new federal ‘Jumbo’, XXX size anal swabs approved for TSA airport use
WASHINGTON, DC—Airline travel will be much safer with the use of the new Omicron, XXX anal swabs being utilized by...
Science
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
President Biden promises to solve all the problems caused by whoever is president
WASHINGTON, D.C.-- President Joe Biden promised to solve all the problems caused by whoever's president, marking the first year of...
Virginia’s new governor recklessly allows children to breathe freely all day
(CNN) We knew it would be bad, but we didn't know it would be this bad. Virginia's new Republican Governor...
Greta Thunberg screams at Tonga volcano recklessly violating climate change regulation
TONGA—Just a day after Time Magazine named her "Person of the Year," Greta Thunberg was fighting climate change, this time...
Pfizer CEO says Omicron vaccine will be ready just in time for it to be completely useless
US—Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla on Monday said a vaccine that targets the Omicron variant of COVID will be ready in March, just in...
‘There is no mass formation psychosis’ says the people perpetrating mass formation psychosis
US—There is no evidence of mass formation psychosis according to the people perpetrating mass formation psychosis. Mass formation psychosis, according...
Local man claims he knows who Trump’s vice president was
CHEESECURD, WI—Some people say it was a guy named Cheney... others swear Trump never had one, however longtime Madison, Wisconsin...
Fauci ‘feeling fine’ after latest booster
WASHINGTON, DC—America's Doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says he's "feeling fine" following the latest COVID booster shot, which involves dozens of...
