Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
Tech
AOC launches dating app for Republicans who can’t date her
US—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) launched a firestorm after pictures were released showing her maskless in Miami as New York endured...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
Buttigieg to fix supply chain issues by making all US highways gay
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg pointed to homophobia as the reason for America's current supply chain issues during an appearance on MSDNC's Morning Fellatio on...
Bill Gates to constantly stroke a white cat to solidify his role as global supervillain
REDMOND, WA—Renowned tech and biotech mogul Bill Gates has decided he will carry around a white cat and stroke it...
Facebook temporarily bans itself for violating its own misinformation policy
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Hundreds of millions of people were unable to access Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp for more than six hours...
BREAKING: All global sex trafficking halted as Facebook suffers outage
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—All global sex trafficking operations have been halted as the social media giant Facebook and its subsidiaries Instagram...
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of the CDC contradicting the CDC
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google’s media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
Breaking WELY News Update
The US government is collapsing and we’re pretending it’s not! All in the latest news update! Stay current on the...
Astronaut’s space suit fails when child doesn’t wear his own space suit
SPACE- U.S. Astronaut Glen Miller died yesterday when conducting routine maintenance on the International Space Station. While tethered to the...
