Beto doubles down: will replace US nuclear weapons with NERF darts as president
After a shocking series of events, Democratic hopeful Robert "Beto" O'Rourke has doubled down on his anti-gun stance. The former...
Tech
BREAKING: Latest Hurricane Dorian prediction maps completed by local toddler
MOBILE, AL—18-month-old and world renown scribbler Bobby has released the latest Hurricane Dorian prediction model maps for the US National...
SJWs mad that the female Thor isn’t a black transgender lesbian
Natalie Portman's role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is set to drastically expand in the next Thor sequel, as her franchise character...
Rey employs practical new light saber in ‘Rise of Skywalker’
Throwing out all the stops for the last in the latest Star Wars trilogy, producers at Disney have given the...
NOAA: ‘July 2019 imaginary temperatures were the hottest ever’
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has released important information, confirming that July 2019 was the hottest month ever...
Enlightened progressive recycles platitude ‘Prayers won’t change anything’ for the 278th time this year
Cue the eye-rolls. In the wake of tragedy, a nation full of people capable of doing little more than praying,...
Notorious welfare queens proceed to lecture Americans about right and wrong
Nobody saw this coming. Google, tech overlord the world over, having made billions turning taxpayer money into infrastructure and search...
Facebook’s sanctions now include labeling platform offenders with scarlet “A”
In an attempt to ‘moderate the hate’ on their platform, Facebook has rolled out a novel punishment for repeat offenders....
97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the...
