BREAKING: Justin Trudeau invades Poland
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has instructed the Canadian Royal Mounted Police to invade Poland, breaking several peacetime treaties. At 4:45...
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Ukraine troops wash, wax, vacuum tanks; get ready for capture
UKRAINE—Major General Victor Nikolyuk, Northern Commander ordered all Ukrainian armored vehicles to be vacuumed and washed. “When the Russians capture...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ in Kazakhstan insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC--Almost a year after the War of January 6th to the date, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has issued a...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
BREAKING: Brandon surges to the lead in the 2024 presidential poll
US—A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Center shows that some guy named Brandon has surged to the lead in...
Biden sues Benedict Arnold for title of ‘Worst Traitor to the USA’
Former Vice-President Joe Biden has sued the former United States Continental General Benedict Arnold for the title of "Worst Traitor...
Millions of returning college students excited to learn what to be offended by
US—Millions of Gen Z college students are preparing to return to campuses across the country and learn what to be...
Democrats declare War on Gravity after Biden stair incident
The effort to defend the Dominion elected China Puppet is never ending battle. Trump's demands for honest elections, the difficulty...
