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BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules Constitution is Constitutional

Rafi Metz December 20, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—In the case of The Constitution v. Itself, the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution is constitutional. “We were...

10 Ways to Figure Out if Joe Biden Fabricated a Story from Thin Air

Rafi Metz December 20, 2022

Joe Biden lies a lot. Like a ton. Like maybe even more than Trump, which is saying something. But how...

Several unemployed actors you’ve never heard of threaten to leave Twitter over Musk takeover

Exavier Saskagoochie October 31, 2022

SILICON VALLEY, CA—It's getting bad at Twitter after several ugly, unemployed actors that you've never heard of have threatened to...

BREAKING: Jury confuses Alex Jones with Volodymyr Zelensky, orders him to pay $1 billion

Exavier Saskagoochie October 12, 2022

The jury in the Alex Jones Sandy Hook defamation suite has confused Jones with Ukrainian money launderer Volodymyr Zelensky and...

BREAKING: FBI releases evidence that Trump sold nuclear codes

Jeremy Spoken August 12, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has released some of the evidence that former President Donald Trump sold nuclear codes to Vladimir Putin...

BREAKING: Biden has AOC’s bug eyes surgically implanted to look more alert

Exavier Saskagoochie July 29, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—After much criticism of Biden's squinting and looking half-dead, the president has undergone surgery to implant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's eyes...

AOC’s husband miffed that she just wants to date Alex Stein

Exavier Saskagoochie July 15, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—Following a harrowing experience on the Capitol steps in which she was nearly murdered, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has...