BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s email server found in Joe Biden’s garage
WILMINGTON, DE—Lawyers for President* Joe Biden said they have discovered Hillary Clinton's email server in Biden's garage. The server was...
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BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ in Brazilian insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC–Two years after the War of January 6th to the date, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a...
BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules Constitution is Constitutional
WASHINGTON, DC—In the case of The Constitution v. Itself, the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution is constitutional. “We were...
10 Ways to Figure Out if Joe Biden Fabricated a Story from Thin Air
Joe Biden lies a lot. Like a ton. Like maybe even more than Trump, which is saying something. But how...
Several unemployed actors you’ve never heard of threaten to leave Twitter over Musk takeover
SILICON VALLEY, CA—It's getting bad at Twitter after several ugly, unemployed actors that you've never heard of have threatened to...
BREAKING: Jury confuses Alex Jones with Volodymyr Zelensky, orders him to pay $1 billion
The jury in the Alex Jones Sandy Hook defamation suite has confused Jones with Ukrainian money launderer Volodymyr Zelensky and...
BREAKING: FBI releases evidence that Trump sold nuclear codes
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has released some of the evidence that former President Donald Trump sold nuclear codes to Vladimir Putin...
BREAKING: Biden has AOC’s bug eyes surgically implanted to look more alert
WASHINGTON, DC—After much criticism of Biden's squinting and looking half-dead, the president has undergone surgery to implant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's eyes...
AOC’s husband miffed that she just wants to date Alex Stein
WASHINGTON, DC—Following a harrowing experience on the Capitol steps in which she was nearly murdered, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has...
Elon Musk secretly buys 51% of all passwords, will soon control internet
ZURICH—The GPO, Global Password Organization, announced on May 5th, World Password Day, that Elon Musk, the SpaceX and Tesla entrepreneur,...
