Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
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BREAKING: Brandon surges to the lead in the 2024 presidential poll
US—A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Center shows that some guy named Brandon has surged to the lead in...
Biden sues Benedict Arnold for title of ‘Worst Traitor to the USA’
Former Vice-President Joe Biden has sued the former United States Continental General Benedict Arnold for the title of "Worst Traitor...
Millions of returning college students excited to learn what to be offended by
US—Millions of Gen Z college students are preparing to return to campuses across the country and learn what to be...
Democrats declare War on Gravity after Biden stair incident
The effort to defend the Dominion elected China Puppet is never ending battle. Trump's demands for honest elections, the difficulty...
BREAKING: Democrats impeach Trump for unconstitutionally following the Constitution
WASHINGTON, DC—With President Trump’s impending impeachment trial approaching rapidly, legal and constitutional scholars from around the nation have been pondering...
Hillary demands to know why no one ever charged her with ‘inciting an erection’ at the Capitol
WASHINGTON, DC—After Chuck Schumer charged Donald Trump with inciting an erection at the US Capitol, Hillary Clinton has demanded to...
Local Libertarian eagerly awaiting Trump’s opinion to hate it
HARTFORD, CT—Too busy with the holidays to keep up with the news, Libertarian voter Michael McStuffing is patiently waiting for...
BREAKING: Pelosi announces ‘Jelly of the Month Club’ certificates in lieu of COVID stimulus
WASHINGTON DC—Congress was set to send all Americans checks for COVID relief but at the last minute Speaker of the...
