Biden asks for $10 billion for ‘big, beautiful’ border wall for Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has asked Congress for $10 billion to build what he calls a "big, beautiful" border wall...
World
BREAKING: Queen, regretting loss of colonies, orders British tanks on Washington
LONDON—Queen Elizabeth, commenting on how her great, great, great, great, grandfather, King George IV, f*** up, giving the colonies away...
Most Americans ‘pretty sure’ the people who lied about COVID are telling the truth about Ukraine
US—A recent poll by the Pew Pew Center found that a majority of Americans are "pretty sure" that the people...
BREAKING: Ukraine confirms Greta Thunberg is the ‘Ghost of Kiev’
KYIV—The elusive 'Ghost of Kyiv,' who has inspired the globe in his remarkable ability to shoot down Russians, has been...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
BREAKING: Heavily armed Russians arrest peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point
KYIV—Video and photographic evidence have shown Russians beating and trampling peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point. Sources also say that...
BREAKING: Russian tanks invade International Space Station
SPACE—The United States is reeling as the Russians land another blow, taking over the space station. NASA received this report...
BREAKING: Vladimir Putin completely eradicates COVID by invading Ukraine
US—In a miraculous turn of events, Vladimir Putin has eradicated COVID-19 from the face of the earth by invading Ukraine....
Man who stole election in the United States asks us to defend democracy in Europe
WASHINGTON, DC--The man who stole an election in the United States is asking us to defend democracy in Europe, sources...
BREAKING: Biden threatens to misgender Putin if Russia doesn’t leave Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden says he is prepared retaliate for the Ukraine invasion by misgendering Vladimir Putin. “Our number...
