BREAKING: Harambe has died from coronavirus in New York City
Harambe, the beloved lowland gorilla who was shot and killed in 2016 after befriending a little boy at the Cincinnati...
World
Michigan Governor enlists Combine Army to help enforce quarantine
Detroit, MI -- According to embedded sources, Michigan's designated administrator Gretchen Whitmer has reached out to the Combine Army from...
China recommends US remain closed until they can afford to buy it on eBay
Though nobody believes China has vanquished the virus, it looks like they are back open for business. Productivity seems almost...
Wildlife reclaiming parks during lockdown: ‘The brontosauruses have quadrupled’
YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK—Usually, when you drive through Yosemite Village, you have a tough time not running over gnarly rock climbers...
Joe Biden sues Iran for right to use ‘Death to America’ as 2020 campaign slogan
Joe Biden has sued the sovereign country of Iran over the right to use "Death to America" as his 2020...
Performance artists funded by COVID relief bill rush to save dying patients through ‘interpretive dancing’
People are dying from COVID-19 left and right and doctors are praising Congress's relief bill that spent billions on special...
BREAKING: Trump reschedules Easter to May 1st
President Donald Trump announced on Sunday that the White House would be extending its social distancing guidelines through April 30...
STUDY: Most quarantined people pretty much okay never interacting with all the annoying people out there
Who can forget the scenes of thousands of Chinese citizens going about their business wearing surgical masks? Some round, some...
BREAKING: Sinaloa Cartel offers to move all their drug manufacturing to the United States
Supply chain management, just-in-time inventory, and globalization have made the United States vulnerable to outside and unpredictable forces. Some of...
Greta Thunberg manages to revive publicity by intentionally contracting coronavirus
It was a scary couple weeks for teen climate sensation Greta Thunberg. No one was talking about her or the...
