BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
New study shows that millions of vaccinated men are unable to get pregnant
US—A shocking new study has revealed that millions of vaccinated men are unable to get pregnant, stumping experts in the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Judge grants Harvey Weinstein furlough so he can comfort Jennifer Lawrence after her nightmares about Tucker Carlson
NEW YORK—A Judge has granted convicted sex abuser Harvey Weinstein a temporary furlough from prison so that he can comfort...
NEW: Netflix presents Whoopi Goldberg as Queen Elizabeth II
CALIFORNIA—Based on historical events, Netflix presents Whoopi Goldberg in the all new film, "Queen Elizabeth II" following the recent monarch's...
BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth II has information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
LONDON—Queen Elizabeth II — the longest-reigning monarch in British history — has information that will lead to the arrest and...
City of Memphis erects statue of Ezekiel Kelly who went on mostly peaceful shooting spree this week
MEMPHIS—About 200 community members gathered to celebrate the unveiling of a statue of Ezekiel Kelly, the austere repeat offender suspected...
JUST IN: Biden unveils his own presidential portrait at the White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden Wednesday unveiled his official presidential portrait in an event punctuated by history and politics. Many claimed...
BREAKING: Official portrait shows former First Lady Michelle Obama with huge erection
This is just not in good taste. And fact check: they totally exaggerated the size of her penis. We've seen...
PA Senate candidate Fetterman hires Joe Biden to interpret his incoherent ramblings
HARRISBURG, PA—If there's anyone that understands incoherent ramblings, it's the president* of the United States, Joe Biden. That's what the...
Newsom unveils bold plan for free 100% renewable energy for California
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom is sick and tired of waiting for the federal government to lead the way in fighting climate...
AOC: ‘I don’t need coal-burning power plants. I get all my electricity from the wall’
People are so stupid. I don't know who needs to hear this, but burning coal is so 2021. We really...
