Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing 
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace” 
Travis Kelce Announces Pregnancy Just Days after Marrying Taylor Swift 
Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy 
Senate Republicans Report McConnell ‘Fully Engaged,’ ‘Eager to Return’ 
Chicago Bulls Fire Jaden Ivey for Failing to Meet NBA Minimum on Baby Mamas and Cocaine Usage
Chicago, IL — In a stunning move that has sent shockwaves through the league, the Chicago Bulls announced Tuesday the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Justice Ketanji Jackson Says She Will Only Hear Oral Arguments on April 1st from Now On: ‘That Way I Can Always Claim I Was Just Joking’
WASHINGTON — Citing the overwhelming success of her previous April Fools’ Day legal strategy, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
BREAKING: Trump Cuts Ties with Israel, Ends Hostilities in Iran, Orders Mass Arrests of Epstein Clients
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning Rose Garden announcement Tuesday morning, President Donald J. Trump simultaneously severed diplomatic relations with...
NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
Politicians 40+ Years in Office Loudly Declare “No Kings” About Guy in Office for 14 Months
WASHINGTON — In a stunning display of constitutional vigilance, a coalition of Democratic lawmakers who have collectively occupied their seats...
Democrats Stage Massive Protests to Save Democracy by Overthrowing Democratically Elected President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stirring display of democratic fervor, thousands of Democrats took to the streets this weekend to...
Millions Gather for “No Queens” March in California and Minnesota
Los Angeles/Saint Paul – In scenes of shocking civility, an estimated 14 million Americans descended on the streets of Los...
Retired ‘Expert Frisker’ Volunteers at TSA to Combat Staffing Shortages
WASHINGTON — Citing chronic underfunding and a “devastating” shortage of qualified airport security personnel, the Transportation Security Administration announced Monday...
BREAKING: Thune floats discussing several strongly-worded letters about maybe doing something for the American people in two weeks
Washington, D.C. – In a bold escalation of rhetorical force, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) today solemnly pledged to...
