BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Amber Heard to testify to January 6 Committee that President Trump beat her up, raped her
WASHINGTON, DC—Fresh off of her defamation trial with ex-husband Johnny Depp, Amber Heard is set to testify as a "star...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Jussie Smollett testifies to Jan 6 Commission two Donald Trumps wearing MAGA hats attacked him
WASHINGTON, DC—The January 6 Commission has called "star witness" Jussie Smollett who testified under oath that two Donald Trumps wearing...
BREAKING: Jan 6 Commission releases video of Trump commandeering limo from Secret Service
WASHINGTON, DC—Then-President Donald Trump became irate and tried to grab the steering wheel of the Secret Service limousine when told...
BREAKING: Lightfoot launches new ‘drive-by abortions’ program in Chicago
CHICAGO—Democratic Mayor Lori Lightfoot led a crowd Saturday in a hate-filled chant against Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Speaking at...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who has recently been put on suicide watch even though she is not...
Pfizer reminds women they can still get an abortion by getting another COVID vaccine
US—Pfizer has reminded women in the United States that they can still get an abortion following the Supreme Court's overturning...
Moloch to accept credit card donations for those who can’t sacrifice their babies to him anymore
US—In the wake of the Supreme Court of the United States overturning Roe v. Wade, the Canaan god Moloch, known...
BREAKING: Dozens of fat ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
BREAKING: Roe v Wade reinstated as Democrats find 150,000 Supreme Court votes at 2am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has reversed its earlier decision to overturn Roe versus Wade...
Planned Parenthood signs lease with Spirit Halloween after SCOTUS overturns Roe v Wade
US—In a savvy business move, the nation's leading abortion provider Planned Parenthood has signed a lease with Spirit Halloween to...
