BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them 
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’ 
BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
BREAKING: Lightfoot launches new ‘drive-by abortions’ program in Chicago
CHICAGO—Democratic Mayor Lori Lightfoot led a crowd Saturday in a hate-filled chant against Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Speaking at...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who has recently been put on suicide watch even though she is not...
Pfizer reminds women they can still get an abortion by getting another COVID vaccine
US—Pfizer has reminded women in the United States that they can still get an abortion following the Supreme Court's overturning...
Moloch to accept credit card donations for those who can’t sacrifice their babies to him anymore
US—In the wake of the Supreme Court of the United States overturning Roe v. Wade, the Canaan god Moloch, known...
BREAKING: Dozens of fat ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
BREAKING: Roe v Wade reinstated as Democrats find 150,000 Supreme Court votes at 2am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has reversed its earlier decision to overturn Roe versus Wade...
Planned Parenthood signs lease with Spirit Halloween after SCOTUS overturns Roe v Wade
US—In a savvy business move, the nation's leading abortion provider Planned Parenthood has signed a lease with Spirit Halloween to...
CNN: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) Following the devastating Supreme Court ruling overturning the hallowed Constitution and Roe v Wade, insurrection is okay again. Many...
The ‘Love Wins’ crowd threatens to ‘Burn it all down’ if they can’t keep killing babies
US—The "Love Wins" crowd has threatened to "Burn it all down" if they can't keep killing babies following the Supreme...
OPINION: If you don’t like the SCOTUS decision, then you can just start your own judicial system
Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible,...
