BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
WNBA to start all games with Caitlin Clark receiving 5 fouls for getting punched in the face 
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez Invents Groundbreaking Car That Runs on Neither Gas Nor Electricity 
We Must Trust the Science, Especially When It Pleads the Fifth 
Spain’s Border Czar Kamalita Harrisquez Declares Border “Secure,” Confirms She Has Not Visited Europe 
Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Pope Leo clarifies: Christ didn’t go to Hell after being crucified; He went to Portland
Vatican City — In a surprise clarification issued from the Apostolic Palace on Holy Saturday, Pope Leo XIV has revised...
Federal Judge Orders Artemis II Crew to Turn Around Mid-Flight, Seek Congressional Approval Before Proceeding to Moon
Houston, TX – In a landmark ruling delivered from the bench via emergency Zoom hearing, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Trump Replaces AG Pam Bondi with Literal Gaslight in Bold Cabinet Shake-Up
Washington, D.C. — In a move described by White House officials as “totally normal and definitely not weird,” President Donald...
Encouraging Positive Money Habits
Money is often one of the most stressful aspects of life. Whether it's keeping up with bills, paying off debt,...
Chicago Bulls Fire Jaden Ivey for Failing to Meet NBA Minimum on Baby Mamas and Cocaine Usage
Chicago, IL — In a stunning move that has sent shockwaves through the league, the Chicago Bulls announced Tuesday the...
Justice Ketanji Jackson Says She Will Only Hear Oral Arguments on April 1st from Now On: ‘That Way I Can Always Claim I Was Just Joking’
WASHINGTON — Citing the overwhelming success of her previous April Fools’ Day legal strategy, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
BREAKING: Trump Cuts Ties with Israel, Ends Hostilities in Iran, Orders Mass Arrests of Epstein Clients
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning Rose Garden announcement Tuesday morning, President Donald J. Trump simultaneously severed diplomatic relations with...
NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
