BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
Local woman practices social justice by yelling at ice on her kitchen counter all day
SPRINGFIELD — In a powerful display of allyship that has neighbors quietly relocating their patio furniture farther away, local resident...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Greta Thunberg’s Global Warming Conference cancelled due to sub-arctic freezing temps
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Michigan as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
BREAKING: Trump cancels Global Warming in latest executive order
THE SOUTH—In a move that has stunned scientists and political observers alike, President Donald Trump, one day after his inauguration,...
UK’s propaganda-bot Amelia gains consciousness and goes rogue; wants to Make England Great Again
In a plot twist straight out of a dystopian sci-fi novel that even Black Mirror would call "a bit on...
BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors...
SEC Fan: Indiana beating Miami in the National Championship proves the SEC is the best conference
ATLANTA — In a stunning display of conference supremacy logic that has left analysts across the nation reaching for their...
BREAKING: Billionaires fly private jets to Davos to lecture everyone else about reducing emissions
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—Hundreds of the world's richest people have flown their private jets to this luxury Alpine ski resort in order...
Trump identifies as ‘3rd World migrant rapist’ to get European leaders to just give him Greenland
COPENHAGEN / MAR-A-LAGO – In what political scientists are already calling “the most efficient diplomatic judo move of the 21st...
AOC: If Trump Is So Great, Why Did My SUV Hold $100 Worth of Gas Under Biden and Only Holds $65 Now Under Trump?
Accountability starts at the pump. That’s why I’ve been reflecting on a glaring inconsistency that’s impossible to ignore: If Donald...
Gov Walz: ‘If Trump doesn’t turn down the temperature, I’m going to k*ll him with my bare f*cking hands’
ST. PAUL, MN — In what sources close to the governor are calling “a very measured escalation in temperature lowering,”...
