California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
NFL suspends Jaxson Dart for introducing Trump instead of beating his wife like a good NFL player 
Green Day changes its name to G’ay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Bad Bunny to sacrifice 2 goats in ‘epic’ Super Baal Halftime show
In a groundbreaking move set to redefine both entertainment and animal husbandry, Puerto Rican superstar Bad Bunny has confirmed plans...
BREAKING: Amid Horrific Epstein Revelations, Bondi Vows Indictments for more Pet Squirrel Owners
WASHINGTON — With the latest batch of Jeffrey Epstein files revealing horrific crimes by world elites, Attorney General Pam Bondi...
Minneapolis residents set up borders and checkpoints to protest borders and checkpoints
MINNEAPOLIS—In a bold stand against the oppressive machinery of federal border enforcement, residents of South Minneapolis have taken decisive action:...
Crown threatens Prince Andrew: 10 more scandals and he’ll have to move into £30m terraced mansion
In a stern memo leaked from the newly rebranded Crown Discipline Office (formerly "Buckingham Palace – Back Office"), the monarchy...
BREAKING: Mossad sues DOJ for ‘just giving away’ the blackmail material that Epstein had worked so hard to generate for them
In a stunning legal reversal that has left international relations scholars reaching for their strongest coffee, the Mossad today filed...
Billie Eilish shouts “no one is illegal on stolen land” from inside her walled and gated $14 million home
LOS ANGELES – In a moment of raw, unfiltered activism that has already inspired countless Instagram stories, pop superstar Billie...
BREAKING: Walz to deport all American citizens out of Minnesota
In a bold reaffirmation of local sovereignty, Minneapolis residents have begun erecting makeshift borders around their neighborhoods to repel the...
Mike Johnson sees his shadow; means 12 more months of pretending to be a conservative
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a solemn ceremony that blended meteorological tradition with congressional theater, House Speaker Mike Johnson emerged from...
BREAKING: Walz launches MICE to deport ‘invading’ Americans out of Minnesota
ST. PAUL, Minn. — In what aides are calling the most Minnesotan solution to an increasingly un-Minnesotan problem, Governor Tim...
