BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
‘No Kings’ protesters demand dictator Maduro be restored to power in Venezuela
Seattle, WA — In a display of unwavering commitment to sovereignty abroad while maintaining flexible standards at home, participants from...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Mamdani opens NYC’s first forced labor camp to generate that ‘warmth of collectivism’
New York, NY – In an innovative push to combat urban apathy and boost communal bonds, City Council Member Zohran...
GOP Leaders Vow Crackdown on ‘Rampant Fraud’ Once They Secure the Presidency, the House, the Senate, and Supreme Court
Washington, D.C. — In a fiery press conference on Capitol Hill today, Republican leaders pledged to finally address the nation's...
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after someone was wished a ‘Merry Christmas’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The Google Headquarters shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
Babylon Bee changes name to The Babylon Bibi in honor of their boss
JUPITER, FL — In a move described by insiders as "long overdue and entirely voluntary," the conservative Christian satire website...
Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on Ozempic
In a stunning announcement from the North Pole today, Santa Claus revealed that he has lost an estimated 400 pounds...
BREAKING: GOP Congress narrowly avoids doing anything the entire year of 2025
Washington, D.C. — In a masterful exhibition of bipartisan complicity masked as partisan deadlock, the Republican-led 119th Congress has proudly...
Local kids announce they are ‘starving’ 2 minutes after leaving a party with endless amounts of food they didn’t touch
In a heartbreaking turn of events that has stunned parents and child hunger advocates alike, a group of local elementary...
Joe Biden finally raises enough money for his presidential library
Wilmington, DE – In a triumphant announcement today, former President Joe Biden revealed that his long-stalled presidential library project has...
