BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
BREAKING: Police Release Image of Brown University Shooting Suspect
PROVIDENCE, RI — In a bold move to accelerate the capture of the gunman responsible for Saturday's tragic shooting at...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz Counters Lindell’s Gubernatorial Bid with Launch of “MyTampon” Brand
St. Paul, MN – Fresh off MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell's announcement that he will seek the Republican nomination to challenge...
PETITION: Presidential Medal of Freedom for LAPD Sergeant Al Powell, Hero during 1988 Terrorist Attack at Nakatomi Plaza
Washington, D.C. — A Genesius Times petition launched this week has garnered over 150,000 signatures calling for President Biden to...
AOC: The mass shooting in Australia didn’t really happen because guns are illegal there
Folks, let's talk about this supposed "mass shooting" down in Australia yesterday. You know, the one at Bondi Beach during...
FBI Confirms Charlie Kirk was Killed by the Same ‘Magic Bullet’ that Killed JFK
In a stunning announcement that has finally put to rest decades of conspiracy theories, the Federal Bureau of Investigation confirmed...
James Gunn Passes on Chance to Make Any Money on Supergirl Film by not Casting Sydney Sweeney
Hollywood, CA — In a move that has left studio accountants weeping openly into their spreadsheets, DC Studios co-CEO James...
BREAKING: Immigrants demand their host country become more like the horrible place they fled from
New York / London / Berlin – In a bold display of cultural appreciation, thousands of newly arrived immigrants took...
Cinnabon Removes the ‘N’s’ to Prove they Aren’t Racist
Atlanta, GA – In a groundbreaking act of corporate virtue that no one asked for, Cinnabon announced Tuesday that it...
Democrats Hold Candlelight Vigil for Fallen Drug Cartel Boat Crews Lost at Sea
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a moving display of cross-border solidarity, hundreds of progressive activists gathered on the National Mall Tuesday...
Pope Leo says Orcs and Hobbits can be ‘friends’ and ‘murderous Orcs are just misunderstood’
VATICAN CITY – In a surprise move that has left both Middle-earth scholars and the College of Cardinals reaching for...
