California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
NFL suspends Jaxson Dart for introducing Trump instead of beating his wife like a good NFL player 
SEC Fan: Indiana beating Miami in the National Championship proves the SEC is the best conference
ATLANTA — In a stunning display of conference supremacy logic that has left analysts across the nation reaching for their...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Billionaires fly private jets to Davos to lecture everyone else about reducing emissions
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—Hundreds of the world's richest people have flown their private jets to this luxury Alpine ski resort in order...
Trump identifies as ‘3rd World migrant rapist’ to get European leaders to just give him Greenland
COPENHAGEN / MAR-A-LAGO – In what political scientists are already calling “the most efficient diplomatic judo move of the 21st...
AOC: If Trump Is So Great, Why Did My SUV Hold $100 Worth of Gas Under Biden and Only Holds $65 Now Under Trump?
Accountability starts at the pump. That’s why I’ve been reflecting on a glaring inconsistency that’s impossible to ignore: If Donald...
Gov Walz: ‘If Trump doesn’t turn down the temperature, I’m going to k*ll him with my bare f*cking hands’
ST. PAUL, MN — In what sources close to the governor are calling “a very measured escalation in temperature lowering,”...
BREAKING: France Eager to Join Denmark-US Conflict So They Can Surrender to Someone Soon
PARIS — In a move described by diplomats as “both proactive and deeply traditional,” the French government has formally expressed...
If you don’t want your tax money to go to immigrants to look after imaginary kids and sent to African warlords, you’re literally Hitler
In these enlightened times, it's become increasingly clear that the true measure of one's character lies not in deeds or...
GOP to hold hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings
WASHINGTON, DC—Republican lawmakers have scheduled a hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings, sources say. "We have...
Denmark sends reinforcements to Greenland ahead of talks with US
NUUK / COPENHAGEN — In a bold show of Scandinavian resolve, the Kingdom of Denmark has dispatched a heavily armed...
Mobile Shopping Trends Transforming E-Commerce
Mobile Shopping Trends Transforming E-Commerce Mobile shopping did not just make online purchases more convenient. It changed how people think...
