BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort 
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of the CDC contradicting the CDC
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google’s media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: ‘We must ban butter to save these poor butterflies!’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new push toward a more just and equitable climate, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made a...
Breaking WELY News Update
The US government is collapsing and we’re pretending it’s not! All in the latest news update! Stay current on the...
Bill Gates warns he can’t turn on the 5G depopulation switch until everyone’s vaccinated
SEATTLE—Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Chair Bill Gates has warned that he can't turn on the 5G depopulation switch until...
Biden narrowly misses price of the $3.5 trillion budget on Price is Right by $3.5 trillion
BURBANK, California—Joe Biden narrowly missed the correct price on a $3.5 trillion budget on the Price is Right today, guessing...
Australia officially returns to being a prison colony
SYDNEY, Australia—Australia began as a prison colony for the United Kingdom and they have officially returned to being just a...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
Australian cops to beat protesters until they learn being unvaxxed is bad for your health
MELBOURNE, Australia—Police across the city and country are continuing a campaign to beat protesters until they learn that being unvaccinated...
Biden makes all Monopoly money legal tender to pay for $3.5 trillion spending bill
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden continues to innovate in the wake of a difficult fiscal situation for the United States. Faced with...
De Blasio exempts blacks from NYC COVID vaccine mandate for ‘equality and science’
NEW YORK—After facing backlash from the Black Lives Matter movement over the city's COVID vaccine mandate, Mayor Bill de Blasio...
