BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51 
Trump selects Jeb Bush for Secretary of the Department of Low Energy 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
David Hogg campaigns to ban assault donations like those used on AOC’s abuela
HOGG HEAVEN, FL—Activist David Hogg, who is known for his fight to ban guns and his MyPillow competition MyDillow, has...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
CNN rehires Jeffrey Toobin as Chief OnlyFans Correspondent
In a touching story of redemption, Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN following his embarrassing departure when the former Chief Legal...
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Fauci declares ‘I am science’ as he launches new COVID Inquisition Panel
WASHINGTON, DC—Grand Science Wizard Saint Anthony Fauci has declared what everyone in the mainstream media has known for a while:...
Local cop calls LeBron James to tell him what he should’ve done better in playoff loss
SAN BERNADINO, CA—A local police officer Bernie Jambles spoke to NBA star LeBron James earlier to tell him exactly what...
BREAKING: Guatamala deports Kamala Harris
GUATAMALA CITY—Immigration authorities in Guatamala have deported an annoying American named Kamala Harris. She will be extradited to Mexico, where...
AOC reveals the trauma of being attacked by right-wing donations to her grandmother
WASHINGTON, DC—The relentless attacks on Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) continue. President* Biden awarded AOC the Purple Heart for her role...
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of Dr. Fauci contradicting Dr. Fauci
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google's media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
Kamala Harris flies 10-truck caravan to Guatamala to lecture them on climate change
GUATAMALA CITY—Vice President* Kamala Harris flew a 10-Suburban caravan to Guatamala in order to lecture them on climate change. "It...
Facebook fact-checkers have investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Officials at the various Facebook fact-checking services have investigated themselves over several allegations that they promoted misinformation during...
