BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’ 
Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files 
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy 
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu 
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon 
WNBA agrees to players’ demand to ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’; sets all their salaries to $0
PHOENIX — The WNBA has reset all player salaries to $0 following a unified protest during warm-ups at the WNBA...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Obama says he didn’t commit treason in Russiagate because he’s ‘not even an American citizen’
Former US President Barack Obama has responded to charges of treason by assuring everyone that he was never an American...
‘Fetuses are parasites,’ says 34-year-old living in parents’ basement
US—Unemployed Herman Schock, who currently resides in the basement of his parents' house in a suburb of Kansas City, Missouri,...
BREAKING: Trump replaces White House Press Secretary with literal gaslight to address Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left political analysts and fire marshals equally baffled, former President Donald Trump...
BREAKING: Starmer lowers voting age in UK to ensure everyone in the Tide Pod Challenge Generation can vote
UK—In a bold move to secure the youth vote and cement his legacy as the Prime Minister of Progress, Keir...
BREAKING: Trump considering appointing special prosecutor to cover up the Epstein files
Washington, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump confirmed today that he is “strongly considering” appointing a special prosecutor to manage...
BREAKING: Epstein Island sold to wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef
NEW YORK—A wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef has purchased Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile island for $56 million, according to...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking turn of events, Ghislaine Maxwell, co-conspirator to Jeffrey Epstein, has tragically killed herself next week. Maxwell...
BREAKING: Trump says he’ll release the Epstein files if he’s elected to a third term in 2028
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump says he will finally release all the Epstein files and the so-called Epstein list if he's re-elected...
NEW: Nicolas Cage to Star in National Treasure: The Epstein Files
Hollywood, CA – In a move that has left fans equal parts thrilled and baffled, Nicolas Cage is set to...