BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
I’d Rather Have Global Thermonuclear War Than World Peace Orchestrated by Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive being on this overheating, colonialist rock we call Earth—a transwoman valiantly trapped in the body...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Jay ‘It’s Okay to Kill Kids of Political Enemies’ Jones Draws Line at Dog Murder
RICHMOND, VA — In a stunning display of moral clarity, Virginia Attorney General nominee Jay Jones has taken a courageous...
BREAKING: Hakeem Jeffries filibusters law that officially labels him ‘Dollar Store Obama’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) launched a marathon filibuster yesterday to block the passage of a law that,...
Fans Thank Pope As Beer Cooler Ice Remains Unmelted After ‘Ice Blessing’
VATICAN CITY – In a move hailed as the greatest papal intervention since the invention of the fish fry, Pope...
In attempt to retain subscribers, Netflix releases new Trump docudrama series
LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to retain fleeing subscribers, Netflix has unveiled Trump: The Reimagining, a new docudrama...
ADL Declares Entire World Except Themselves a Hate Group
The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) announced today that every organization, individual, and loosely affiliated social club on the planet has been...
FBI Confirms: Charlie Kirk Killed by JFK’s ‘Magic Bullet,’ Airborne Since 1963
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI announced today that conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk was assassinated with none other than the infamous “Magic Bullet”...
BREAKING: Trump responds to Comey’s ‘8647’ post with ‘FAFO’ post
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump, currently embroiled in his second term, responded to a cryptic social media post by former FBI...
AOC: If you take Tylenol PM while pregnant, your child will only be autistic at night
America, we’ve been played. Big Pharma’s been slipping us the oldest trick in their corporate playbook, and it’s time to...
Urban Farming as a Financially Sustainable Practice
The Growing Case for Urban FarmingUrban farming is more than a trendy buzzword—it’s a real solution to financial, social, and...
