Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator 
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center 
Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend 
The Racist Origins of Father’s Day 
Happy Non-Gestating Person Day to All Who Celebrate 
LIFE HACK: How to write off your involuntary donation to ‘Quality Learing Center’ on your taxes
In these trying economic times, savvy taxpayers are always on the lookout for clever ways to reduce their burden to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs
WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...
Ilhan Omar Wins Oscar for Best Performance in a Fake and Gay Staged Attack on Congressperson
HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a ceremony that managed to be both predictable and somehow still shocking, Representative Ilhan Omar was...
How Many Protesters Need to Die from Back-Alley Deportations Just Because Local Politicians Think the Procedure Should Be Banned?
In the shadow of America’s cruelest policy experiment, we must confront a grim reality: the municipal and state bans on...
Op-Ed: If Climate Change Isn’t Real, Then Why Are There No More Penguins On the North Pole?
Critics of the strategy, mostly confined to people who read past the headline, have pointed out that the last time...
GOP Announces Plan to Send Strongly-Worded Letter Demanding Why Previous Strongly-Worded Letters Have Had Zero Results
WASHINGTON — In a bold escalation of its long-running performative governance strategy, the Republican National Committee and key congressional leadership...
STAR TREK: Woketard Academy Episode 1
In the not-so-distant future of 24th-century wokeness, welcome to Star Trek: Woketard Academy — where merit is microaggression, competence is...
BREAKING: The Coexist Crowd is Destroying the City Again
Local residents received yet another masterclass in tolerance last night when downtown Minneapolis was treated to its regularly scheduled refresh...
Local woman practices social justice by yelling at ice on her kitchen counter all day
SPRINGFIELD — In a powerful display of allyship that has neighbors quietly relocating their patio furniture farther away, local resident...
Greta Thunberg’s Global Warming Conference cancelled due to sub-arctic freezing temps
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Michigan as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
