FACT CHECK: Ben Shapiro’s Eyebrows Grow in Direct Proportion to Number of Bombs Dropped in the Middle East 
Don’t Let Trump Cheat in the Midterms – Demand Congress Pass the SAVE America Voter ID Act! 
Local men dominate International Women’s Day celebration 
Sources say that Iran has elected Barack Obama as the new Supreme Leader 
BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’ 
Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Thin Blue Line supporters loot Walmart after Derek Chauvin conviction
MINNEAPOLIS–Racist supporters Thin Blue Line supporters descended on a local Walmart to loot, pillage, and "burn the motherf****r down" in protest...
FBI is seeking information related to the insurrectionist pictured here
The FBI is seeking information that will assist in identifying the person pictured above who is actively instigating violence across...
UPS commits to burning half of your packages if Derek Chauvin is acquitted
ATLANTA—UPS has increased the stakes in the woke corporation olympics. The package "delivery" service has committed to burning half of...
Minnesota 2021 spring Riot Season set to open this week
MINNEAPOLIS—Minnesota's 2021 spring Riot Season is set to open in most areas of the state this week. Looters and rioters...
Tylenol recalled after someone who took it tripped over his owns shoes, then fell into a coma
WASHINGTON, DC—The Food and Drug Administration issued a recall today on the distribution of Tylenol after someone who took it...
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Nadler: ‘We need to add 5,000 seats to SCOTUS to preserve our norms of completely disregarding the Constitution’
WASHINGTON, DC—Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, announced today at a press conference that Democrats introduced...
The Genesius Times Official BLM Protesting How-to Guide
As last year's Nike's go out of style, it's time to replace them with riot protest season upon us. Genesius...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $30B and immediately deletes it
AUSTIN—Business magnate Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform Twitter for $30 billion and promptly deleted in his...